Paint like a pro, not a monkey

What type of painter are you meticulous and thorough, or apelike?

There are two types of painters.

There are those who simply walk into a room, use their hip to shove the couch and recliner out of the way, pile their supplies directly on the hardwood floor, then open the can of paint with a four-inch nail. These are referred to as monkey painters, or Neanderthal type decorators, referencing the fact this degree of painting excellence could probably be equaled by a primate, or a human being whose concept of painting has yet to evolve past the stage of spreading mud on a wall with their fingers.

Those who meticulously fill every crack, seal every miter joint, then fill and sand every dent beforehand, are called finishers, and that’s the type of painter you want to be.

Before preparing the wall though, prepare the room. Basically, whatever’s not nailed down to the floor should be removed. Painting requires space, and even though it may seem like a plausible strategy to simply push everything towards the center of the room, it’s important to eliminate the risk factors associated with tripping over a rolled up carpet while carrying a full can of paint. Plus, if you’re going to be repairing drywall and sanding, why add the task of cleaning the furniture to your to-do list.

Next, line the perimeter of the room with cloth drop sheets. Avoid using clear plastic for this task. Cloth sheets absorb paint drops, unlike sheets of plastic that basically support the droplets, allowing you to periodically step into these mini puddles, then track the paint throughout home should you forget to leave your shoes in the room when you go for a coffee break.

Next, wear clothing deemed expendable, or that you’ve worn for previous painting jobs. Although most paints are listed as water soluble, for whatever reason that doesn’t really apply to clothing. So, if a drop of latex paint should land on your pant leg, you’d have about 15 seconds to disrobe and get your new pair of jeans under a stream of hot water before these Levis officially become paint wear.

Also, avoid the white, one piece “painters” outfits that zipper up at the front. Wearing one of these suits at a gathering this past Halloween cost me about 10 pounds in essential life fluids, and reminded me of my high school wrestling days of trying to make weight by jogging with a garbage bag on.

Use a paintable latex caulk to seal the miter joints, as well as the gap between the casings or baseboards, and the wall. Don’t use a silicone or exterior caulk because that’s what you have hanging around, and because it’ll save you a trip to the building supply center. Your paint won’t stick to these types of caulk, which will be frustrating.

Small dents or nail holes in the wall can be filled with a pre-mixed product called spackling, or sheetrock 20, a just add water powder that dries and sands in about 20 minutes. I like the powder form because it stores easy, and never really goes bad, so there’s always wall repair stuff on hand. For larger holes created by the elbow or fist of a person under duress, be sure to use a fiberglass tape, along with a dust control compound. Fiber tape is self-sticking, so it’s just easier to use, while the dust control compound does exactly what it suggests, and limits the amount of airborne dust due to sanding.

Next, choose only the best of brushes and rollers, and invest in a good quality of paint. Buying dollar store brushes is like attempting to chop down a tree with a dull axe, while a good brush equals the efficiency of a chainsaw. Plus, a quality angled brush will save on the necessity of using painters tape. The same goes for paint, where anything under 15 bucks per gallon would be little more than colored water. The better paints have a thicker consistency, and as a result will apply more evenly, while requiring fewer coats.

Good painting.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

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