Your options for exterior painting

When it comes time to sealing your treated lumber deck, you’re going to have four options.

They are; opaque stain, semi-transparent stain, exterior porch and floor paint, or a clear finish. A fifth alternative, the option to do absolutely nothing to the wood, alternatively leaving it turn to a weathered grey over time, wasn’t mentioned because doing nothing isn’t really an option.

Permitting a deck to go grey is a choice, or a lifestyle. Are grey, weathered decks the more natural way to go? Absolutely, in the same way pain, suffering, and ultimate death is natural. Can grey, weathered decks be endearing, adding charm and maturity to one’s backyard, while gently blending into the landscape?

No.

I’ve been greying over the past five years. It has made me neither endearing, nor charming, and certainly not any more mature. What the grey has done is make me look old, with people asking me if I feel OK, or commenting to me that I’ve gotten smaller.

So, with the list of upsides of allowing a deck to naturally turn grey, equalling the many positive aspects of arthritis and impending knee surgery, let’s review these sealing options.

Clear sealers basically buy you time, similar to a reprieve from the governor if you’re on death row, and are fine if you need six-to-12 months to decide on a colour scheme. Because treated lumber has transitioned from the former green colour to brown, people will sometimes choose a clear finish in order to preserve this rather favourable, factory-brown tint.

The brown tint added to the treatment process is simply colouring, and not a true stain, so it’s time is limited. Clear sealers will help prevent your decking planks from absorbing water, but will eventually succumb to the elements, allowing your decking to begin the greying process by year three.

So, with clear finishes providing a two- to four-year timeline of colour protection, at some point you’re going to have to paint or stain.

‘Porch and Floor’ latex paint will be your paint option. Choosing a paint over a stain is generally due to past history, basically relating to what you, your father, or your grandfather might have used in the past. If you’ve had success with a paint, you’re more than likely to choose a paint again.

Paints came before stains, so there’s still a following who will choose to paint their decks.  Otherwise, choosing a stain, instead of a paint, has been the trend for several years now.

Paints vs. stains? Paints have a tougher, more resilient finish, and provide a more brilliant reflection of colour than a stain. However, paints (even the satin finishes) are significantly more slippery when wet, which is probably the leading reason for its general demise as an exterior deck finish.

So, if your deck or porch is covered, remaining mostly dry due to being sheltered from the rain, then a porch and floor paint can be a good choice. Otherwise, an open deck would best be served by a more slip-resistant semi-transparent or opaque stain.

Semi-transparent stains will require you first sanding your decking planks.

In lieu of sanding, a lot of people choose to pressure wash their decks, which gives the homeowner the immediate satisfaction of clean as this pressured water pulverizes the deck’s surface. Pressure washers are great for the homeowner because you get clean and quick results, without the back pain. However, these machines are lousy for your decking planks because they tear up the surface fibres of the wood, and effectively saturate the lumber with water, rendering it totally unsuitable for accepting a stain in the immediate future.

So, if you’re not up to the physical challenge of sanding your deck, or would rather a solid colour scheme, as opposed to seeing the wood grain, choose a solid stain. Solid stains are an easy choice because they allow you to re-coat every few years with little preparation.

Next week, giving Sylvester Stallone’s, midnight-black hair colour a shot.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

Get your newels tested in Newtons

Sculptured by Roublliac in 1755 this is a statue at Trinity College Cambridge University of Sir Isaac Newton 1643-1727 a famous English physicist, mathematician, astronomer, and alchemist. TONY BAGGETT / GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCKPHOTO

Today we’re talking newel posts and how they relate to Newtons, a measurement of force, and not Newton, Hercules’s centaur buddy.

Let your mind wander to thinking of English physicists.

Essentially, one Newton is the force needed to accelerate one kilogram of mass at the rate of one metre per second, squared. The KiloNewton is a unit of force where one KiloNewton is equal to one thousand Newtons.

Because the building code tosses around the term kN (KiloNewtons) like Santa’s elves do candy at a Christmas parade, familiarizing yourself with Newtons and KiloNewtons will get you well on your way to understanding how to fortify your deck in order to meet those resistance loads insisted upon us by the building code.

Conversely, if you happened to have skipped the six years required to secure a master’s degree in engineering, and perhaps lack the educational background to fully comprehend KiloNewtons, and the various other mechanical bibble-babble found in the building code, let’s put the element of KiloNewtons into layman’s terms.

Essentially, one Kilonewton equals about 225 pounds of pushing force. The building code demands your newel posts be able to withstand a vertical load of 1.5 KiloNewtons, about 338 pounds of force, which is akin to either being put in a headlock by your average professional wrestler, or surviving the tugging force of at least three members of the McCulloch dance troupe.

So, considering the push/pull power of Highland dancers – they may be slight, but they’re mighty – deck builders should give serious consideration to the proper installation of their newels. Plus, building inspectors may or may not jump up and down on your deck to test its worthiness, but they always shake the post, and on a combined diet of black coffee and the day’s roadkill, along with early morning viewings of Die Hard I and II, these people are motivated to induce movement.

No matter how secure you fasten a newel post, when vertical (push from the side) pressure is applied to the top of a post, essentially at its weakest point, it’s going to move. The degree to which your newel moves, and how quickly it rebounds back to its perpendicular state, will determine its worthiness as a post, and the resulting security level of your railing system.

All railing systems have engineered drawings which outline how exactly a newel post in their system is to be installed.

Railing systems without engineered drawings are not acceptable, will not pass code, and will have to be dismantled if ever installed. So, avoid bargain brand type rails, yard-sale junk, or bidding on some beautifully ornate rail system at an auction.

What passed code in the 1930s won’t meet today’s standards.

So, unless you plan on using such a rail to decorate the area surrounding your lawn or garden area, or you’ve secured the engineering paperwork with a 2019 re-evaluation, keep it off your deck.

The key to a solid newel post is the blocking, or basically the mass of wood product that will accept the necessary lag screws or bolts that secure the post base. PVC (vinyl) and aluminum railing systems generally have newel posts that come with their own type of steel sleeve or base, which makes the surface mounting of these posts relatively straight forward.

Now, however good or engineered a post system is, failure is certain should you simply fasten these posts into the 5/4-inch decking. Effective blocking will mean placing 2×6 (for bolts) or 2×8 lumber (for accepting six-inch lag screws) underneath your decking planks.

Be sure to laminate the blocking with the help of a PL Premium glue, and secure the blocking into the joist system.

For composite and certain PVC systems, a 4×4 treated post will form the bulk of the post, with a decorative PVC or composite sleeve sliding overtop. In cases such as these, the 4×4 post will need to be buried into the joist system, and not surface mounted. Again, 2×8 blocking will be necessary in order to firmly secure the 4×4 on all four sides.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

The best choice of rail is clear

Around the perimeter of a cedar deck, Colin and Justin opted for glass and metal railings built by the team at Nortech.

Today we’re choosing a railing system for our backyard deck.

As stated last week, there are rules to follow regarding railing height and style. Plus, you’ll require stamped drawings in order for your railing system to pass code, and the inspection process.

So, be absolutely sure of your railing height, style, and available stamped drawings, before placing your railing system on order. It’ll feel like a punch in the gut when you discover your custom railing order didn’t account for the length of decking that butts up against your pool, thereby requiring a 60-inch high rail, instead of the 42-inch high railing you just sank $1,500 in.

Although railing systems come in a variety of manufactured species, including aluminum, PVC vinyl, and composite materials, our local building code limits us to basically two styles of railing systems, them being vertical spindles and balusters, or individual glass panels.

If your deck is elevated to the point where you’ll be having to look through the railing system in order to see what’s happening in your backyard, or if your deck happens to look out upon a garden area, river bank, or some equally desirable landscape, then you’re going to have a hard time beating clear glass panels as your choice of railing system.

Pros to going with glass panels? A completely unobstructed view— especially with those systems that have eliminated the top rail, protection from the wind, and arguably the best-looking system on the market.

Cons to glass panels? Until the local bird population modifies its flight patterns, you can expect a few casualties, which will be unfortunate. So, once the glass panels are installed, be sure to move the bird feeder if there’s one close by. Also, consider installing a few strings of reflective bird tape, hang a few ‘hawk eyes’, or perch a plastic falcon in some conspicuous spot, in order to dissuade the chickadees from the surrounding air space.

Maintenance of glass panels? We owned a glass-topped table once, once! Eventually, the constant finger prints and beverage circles left on this glass table top had us doubling up on our medication. However, today’s exterior glass panels are of such a high quality, they clean up easily with the spray of a garden hose.

So, investing in glass doesn’t mean having to start buying Windex and paper towels by the caseload. A worst-case scenario might have you passing the squeegee once in a while, until you eventually tire of that, and just accept the glass as being 99 per cent perfect.

Other than glass panels, the choices will be a railing system which includes either PVC, composite, or aluminum vertical spindling.

Often, homeowners will choose a PVC or composite spindle for their front porch because it’s beefier, or slightly more massive construction is more in line with the traditional porch spindling of long ago. Aluminum spindles are far more slender than their PVC and composite counterparts, and are a favorite in backyards, allowing those persons seated on a back deck to more easily view the back lawn area.

When discussing the advantages of a glass panel rail versus an aluminum spindled system, I remember one individual telling me the aluminum spindles were the better choice because they’re less expensive, and a better value, because in time you don’t even see them, or realize the thin aluminum balustrades are still there, and essentially look right through them.

Ironically, this fellow was a member of our local court system, and our conversation always had me wondering if this same line was used to console a criminal during sentencing. “I know we’re talking 15 years Rocco, but don’t worry, in time you won’t even notice those bars.”

Personally, I see the bars, just like I notice the safety netting if we happen to be sitting in an area behind the net at a professional hockey game, even though that’s supposed to be invisible also.

So, clear in my view, is only possible with glass.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

How to choose your deck railing design

Pinterest-worth deck railings may be pretty to look at, but they are not always the best choice according to our columnist Chris Emard. Not Released KRBLOKHIN / GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCKPHOTO

If your backyard deck is to be 24 inches or more above grade (grass level) the building code says that you’re going to need a railing.

Actually, with persons capable of leaping down 24 inches basically limited to teenagers, trained athletes, or members of the local dance troupe; essentially comprising about 8 per cent of the population.

I find the building code in this circumstance, a little lax. Having experienced surgery on both knees, I would probably request somebody kick me in the groin before leaping down 24 inches, just to distract my mind from the jarring knee joint pain to come.

So, with those very young persons, middle-agers, seniors, and those with joint pain, forming the balance of the 92 percentile, I think it would be kind to consider some form of railing system for any platform higher than one step.

As with all construction or home renovation projects, decks and railings require permits. Failure to get a permit may have you dismantling your project since the odds of you following everything to code without some guidance can be safely estimated at zero.

“What if I build my deck over the weekend? Or work only on Sundays?” you may ask. And, you would presume that nobody would notice, or bring your project to the attention of the authorities because that wouldn’t be neighbourly.

Again, the odds of your project going unnoticed, and the odds of you not being ratted upon, can be safely estimated at zero. So, best to follow the rules.

When it comes to deck railings, there are three areas of concern for the homeowner. These priorities are the railing height, railing style, and engineering specifications.

Because building codes can vary from district to district, it’s important for homeowners to check with their local building department regarding the building codes in their area. Generally, decks that are between two feet and six feet off the ground will require a railing system of 36 inches in height. Decks or platforms higher than 6 feet will require a 42 inch high railing system.

Next, your railing system will have to conform to local regulations, which will allow for most spindle type balusters or glass panel type railing systems. Although horizontal stainless cable systems are quite stylish, they’re unfortunately quite climbable, which can be a safety hazard for young children. So, beware of copying a unique type of railing system as seen on the Pinterest site, where safety is sometimes compromised for style or decor.

Finally, your chosen railing components will have to have engineered drawings showing their manner of installation, and that they’re compliant to the stress loads demanded by the Canadian Standards Assoc. (CSA). This engineering paperwork can be provided by the retail lumber yard selling you the product.

Don’t attempt to install a railing system that is not CSA approved, or that doesn’t have the engineered drawings, it will simply not pass and have to be replaced.

What if a person were to greet their building inspector with an XL triple-triple coffee and a box of Timbits, might that help them soften up on the regulations? Actually, they would be insulted.

Building inspectors are rock solid and are immune to compromise. They drink their coffee black, right out of the crock, and snack on a bag of nails as they drive from site to site. So, don’t even think of trying to sway their integrity with common folk food.

Finally, don’t skimp on the installation process by lightly tying your newel posts into the decking. Once your railing is installed, the post’s integrity will be tested by a shove or a shake from the inspector’s hip or hand, and some of these inspectors pump iron every morning. So, if you’ve used screws instead of bolts to secure the newel posts, in a quick-fix attempt to finish things up before sundown, your strategy is going to have you staring at a “FAILED INSPECTION” stamp. Next week, more on railing systems.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

Stop the bleeding

File No. 626, titled “knot bleed,” has us examining a case of gumming, or sap leak, being faced by a Mr. Ely McCutchen, aka the “Bainsville Bleeder.”

Formerly known as the “Bainsville Bomber” due to Ely’s prowess in the ring as an amateur boxer, the unfortunate circumstances of Ely’s present moniker came at the hands of a Mr. Hank McFarlen, aka the “Huntsville Hurricane.” A formidable boxer in his youth, Ely’s strength permitted him to back his opponent into the corner buckle with a series of jabs, then with a haymaker-type swing, drop the bomb, which ultimately ended most of his bouts within a few rounds.

Matter of fact, the Bomber’s technique was so successful, most battles had him leaving the fight totally unscathed.

That is, until the Bomber’s first professional bout with the Hurricane, who’s speedy manner had the Bomber suffering his first real blow to the nose. Within moments, the Bomber was spouting blood quicker than a punctured fuel tank, with the bell to end the first round saving him from an early exit.

Entering the second round with basically a box of tissue paper stuffed up each nostril, the proud Bomber stepped towards his opponent, only to be met with a second lightning-quick blow to the nose. Once again, perfectly good O-negative blood spewing out at a rate of one quart a minute, and had every towel in the joint turning to red in an attempt to quash the bleeding.

In that moment, the Bomber, in a cruel twist of fate, became the Bleeder, and his career in boxing was over.

Fast forward 20 years. Our Mr. McCutchen is walking across his newly constructed, treated-lumber deck.

Surveying the general quality of the construction, Ely found himself barefoot, with his sandals having been left three steps back, essentially stuck to the decking surface. Equally gummed were the soles of Ely’s feet, and upon closer examination, Ely noticed sap extract and various other gummy deposits pooling around several of the decking plank knots.

With the former Bomber coming to the realization his deck was now bleeding, the little gummy pools of sap strangely turned to red, as our Ely experienced a dizzying, PTSD flashback. Minutes later, waking up on the deck with his face now stuck in a sap deposit, the Bleeder was at a loss as to why his decking was reacting in such a manner.

Essentially, treated lumber is a mixture of wood species that include spruce, pine, and fir, which has been infused with a copper formula to prevent insect infiltration and rot, then kiln-dried to a moisture level that can vary between 12 per cent and 15 per cent. At this moisture level, lumber maintains its structural strength, and accepts a nail or screw with lesser chance of splitting.

Although the wood’s been cut, it’s not quite dead, so there may be resins and sap residues that leak out of the knots, which is commonly referred to as knot bleed. Knot bleed occurs when the wood absorbs moisture, either through rain or general high-humidity circumstances, with this moisture pushing these natural oils and tannins to the wood surface.

So, can treated lumber which is displaying knot bleed be painted or stained? No, the moisture levels are still too high.

Is there a means of sealing a knot in order to prevent further knot bleed? Not really. Shellac and Bin type sealers may work temporarily, but the sap will bleed through regardless, somewhat marring the finish.

What’s the solution to knot bleed?

Ultimately, you’ll need to patiently let the knots bleed through until they’re dry, then scrape off the sap residue and sand the area clean before staining.

Testing for dry? In a sunny spot, tape (on all four sides) a piece of saran wrap to the top of a plank, then wait 20 minutes. If condensation appears under the plastic, it’s too soon to stain. When the plastic remains dry, it’s stain time.

With that, file No. 626 was closed.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

It’s better to keep it dry

Wide Angle Vintage Rustic Shabby Wooden Background. Grunge Old Wood Peeling Paint Isolated Wall Texture close up. Panoramic Wallpaper or Web banner With Copy Space for design Not Released LUMIKK555 / GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCKPHOTO

Case study No.323, titled “The Mold Amongst Us,” has us examining the situation facing a Mr. Fred Ferguson.

Known as “Fungus Freddie” by his closer associates, Mr. Ferguson’s solution to pretty well any conflict is simply to douse the concern with water.

Got ants in the house? Spray ‘em with water. Got a headache or runny nose? Run your head under the tap. Got a backyard deck which regularly sees leaf and various tree-seed matter propelling down upon it? Hose it down.

So, besides having mushrooms growing under the kitchen sink, and family members regularly exhibiting flat hair days, Freddie owns a backyard deck with at least eight types of moss growing in between the planks. Although these moss species have garnered the interest of the local environmental institute, since the growths include the silene stenophylla, a moss dating back to the Paleolithic age, and otherwise thought to be extinct, the moisture contained by the moss – along with Fred’s regular waterings – have unfortunately encouraged premature joist rot.

As a result, a backyard deck that is only 20 years old will need to be replaced. Regular treated lumber, as opposed to the 60-year treated lumber used on wood foundations, is guaranteed to last 40 years, provided homeowners follow a pretty basic list of precautionary measures.

Rules No. 1 and No. 2: Seal any sawn edges with an end-cut preservative, then seal the project in its entirety with a paint or stain. Then, maintain this painted or stained finish with follow-up coatings every two-to-three years.

What to avoid? Treated posts should not be positioned in water (in the case of a dock), or buried in the ground. In other words, treated lumber should last 40 years if you can manage to keep it relatively dry.

Now, in an environment such as ours, where three consecutive days of sun is basically regarded as a divine intervention, how does a homeowner possibly keep their deck structure dry?

Well— achieving dry may not be always possible, however, there are installation methods or practices that if followed, can at least divert water or moisture so that it’s not pooling around your lumber.

Good practice No. 1: Avoid surface-screwing your treated decking planks. There’s a reason why lumber deterioration often starts with a black mouldy substance surrounding each screw, with hairline cracks radiating out from the screw heads. That’s because surface screws not only create mini pools of water around the screw insertion, but essentially funnel moisture into the core of the wood.

Avoiding this scenario means following either the deck-track, or Camo installation procedure.

The deck-track is a 40-inch length of perforated steel that gets nailed along your 2×10 or 2×8 joists, allowing the installer to fasten the decking planks from below.

The Camo system is a clamp type of tool that works in conjunction with a cordless drill (or corded, if you’re still doing things the old-fashioned way) and directs the camo screw into each side of the decking plank. Either way, surface water simply drains off the board, and you’re left with a beautiful, unblemished finish.

Good practice No. 2: Protect the 2×10 framework underneath with a joist guard. Available in four- or nine-inch strips of plastic, a joist-guard membrane protects the edge of the 2×10 framing lumber, ledger planks, and supporting beams underneath, from moisture, which would have been a big help to someone like Fungus Freddie. Mould and tree seedlings don’t stick so well to plastic, with this plastic shield allowing the owner to more easily brush out various tree debris from between the decking planks.

Good practice No. 3: Avoid your decking 4×4 or 6×6 supporting posts from coming in direct contact with the soil, or concrete pillars. Soil and concrete both absorb moisture, which will be passed on to any dry thing coming into contact with it.

So, use steel U-channels, or adjustable U-brackets to make that moisture break between products.

With these good practices now in Freddy’s toolbox, Case No. 323 was closed.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

There’s no need to stay naughty

Case file No. 624 has us examining the renovation challenge facing a Mr. Jack ‘Naughty’ Pine.

The naughty nickname references Jack’s behaviour, as opposed to what would normally be the ‘knotty’ species, and was earned in his early years as a mischievous youngster by Jack tossing eggs at neighbours’ vehicles while hiding in the family’s roadside recycle bin.

If a neighbour should scold Jack, or report him to his parents, or the authorities, Jack would double up on his mischievousness by pooping on their doorstep in the early morning before he embarked on the school bus.

Jack was truly naughty.

Unfortunately, and now a man well into his 40s, Jack has done little to improve his nickname from the original naughty, to the more appropriate knotty, and if unsettled at a party or gathering, either due to the host serving a cheap wine, or playing anything other than 70s and 80s rock tunes, may unceremoniously perform a not so generous upper-decker (pooping in the tank, as opposed to the bowl) in the master bathroom, before exiting the scene.

So, while Jack remains naughty, he is also faced with having to replace the several 10-foot porch posts that support a roof over what is a beautiful perimeter deck on his century home. The porch posts are constructed of 6×6 rough-cut timbers, which had been wrapped with a 1X8 pine planks, then painted.

Although there are no issues with the 6×6 timbers, the finishing planks are showing severe wear.

In most cases, the planks have rotted at the base, with the boards displaying cracks and a surface disrupted by crackled and peeling paint.

Jack’s solution?

With 12 posts to replace, and staying true to his forefathers, who were most likely woodsmen at some point in history, Jack found himself at the building centre order desk, looking to purchase 48 pieces of 1x8x10-foot, dressed knotty pine.

When questioned about this uncommonly large purchase of pine lumber, Jack relayed to the salesperson the situation, and his desire to re-wrap the deck posts with something similar to what was used originally.

Note— there are some things worth keeping original. If you damage the driver’s side rear-view mirror on your vintage ‘65 Corvette, you replace it with another ‘65 Corvette, driver’s side rear-view mirror. If you happen to own an original Monet, Water Lilies painting, but prefer the flowers be blue, rather than white, you don’t touch it up.

Conversely, if you own wood-wrapped deck columns, and they need replacement, you have to realize it’s time to get out of the wood maintenance business.

Essentially, choosing wood to re-wrap a post, especially one that’ll require paint, will eventually re-create all the rotting, cracking, and paint peeling issues being experienced today. Plus, having to touch up the bleeding knots, because even the best knot sealers can’t regularly stop knot bleed, combined with annual paintings in order to keep these columns looking pristine, will be another chore in your life.

If you own a home, especially an old one, the key to happiness in these busy times is limiting the to-do list.

What about the fact we’re losing a little bit of the originality? Forget about it.

If the builders of the day would have had the option of finishing and sealing a post with a composite or PVC-wrap type product, thereby avoiding maintenance and replacement for the next 50 years, don’t you think they would have made that enlightened decision?

Aluminum columns are the least expensive choice, with the added bonus of offering structural strength. PVC, two-piece wraps are a simple fix, although they’re limited to nine feet in length.

However, for a century old, colonial type home, the smooth finish of a composite wrap, along with its various crown and base finishes, is probably the best choice.

With this new information, our Mr. Jack Pine walked away from being the top pine purchaser for the month, and made the switch to composite. Case No. 624 closed.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

Oil’s well? Go seal that deal

A recent conversation regarding the subject of how to seal and protect decking lumber had a fellow instructing me the most effective thing on the planet was oil.

“Like an oil-based paint or stain?” I inquired.

“No” the fellow said. “Engine oil or cooking oil, brushed or swabbed on with a mop twice yearly, that’s all you need.

“And best of all, it’s free” the fellow concluded.

“Free oil?” I questioned.

“Yes,” the fellow continued, “you just stop by the auto-repair shops, or the French fry huts, or maybe you know somebody in the restaurant biz, they’re always looking to dump their used oil somewhere.”

This mention of a used-oil strategy did conjure up a memory dating back to my early days in retail, with the suggestion motor oil be could be used on unfinished hardwood, in the case of a bar-type of environment, due to the muddy or snow filled boots entering the premises.

“So,” I hesitated, looking to choose my next question wisely, thereby dismissing my naïveté regarding a subject to which this fellow, an older gentleman as you may have guessed, regarded as common sense and accepted general knowledge. “I suppose colour scheme, tint, texture, or any type of consistency or expectancy regarding finish, is somewhat hit and miss.

“Plus,” I needed to be clear on at least one point, “do you mix the old French fry oil with the used motor oil? Or, are the two incompatible?”

“Oil is oil” my senior friend said, “and, it doesn’t matter how you mix it.”

“What about cleanliness?” I asked. “And, isn’t used oil filled with various debris, and overall kind of filthy?”

“Sometimes you get some small nuts and bolts in the mix, or burnt French fries in the batch, but it doesn’t matter” the fellow confirmed. “You just slap it on, and the heavy stuff falls in the grass, or in the river (because oils are great for docks as well), and if there’s food matter in the mix, well— the birds will eat it or pick it off the decking planks.”

So, with that charming visual certainly rationalizing the strategy of choosing used oils, even though actual certification, or recorded study regarding the effectiveness of the used-oil process was most likely lacking, the concept was simply left as an undocumented possibility.

Now, you may ask, how could the seemingly crazy idea of procuring used oils, regardless of whether the oil was claimed from the fryer at Frank’s Fries, or drained from the oil pan of a 1972 Pontiac Parisienne, possibly be viewed as a serious wood-sealing alternative?

Because, as my friend referenced with fact, “paints peel.”

True enough, paints and stains do peel.

Maybe the peeling is related to poor timing, in that it rains the next day. Maybe it was too cold, or too sunny, which had the stain drying before it had the chance to properly adhere to the wood. Or, perhaps the wood’s surface hadn’t been cleaned, or hadn’t been sanded, or was saturated with moisture.

Regardless, paints and stains seem to peel a little too often.

So, with used oils having zero to little chance of peeling, could such a product really be considered as a viable alternative to regular paints and stains? I’m not sure.

The customer would have to accept a yellowish type of tint, depending on the age of the fry oil, or viscosity of the engine oil, with colour essentially differing from batch to batch.

Product texture? Totally dependent on what fry bits and bites are left once the birds have at it.

Product safety? Although used oils aren’t technically flammable, they are combustible, which means there’s little chance of a problem, unless somebody discards a still-burning cigarette, spills the charcoal grill, or drops a birthday cake filled with candles.

So, avoiding carnage might mean installing the appropriate “No Smoking” and “Handle flammables with care” signage in designated areas.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

Panelling success for your fence

Today we’re building a great fence, a beautiful fence, a most powerful fence panel that’ll rank second only to U.S. President Donald Trump’s border wall in its effectiveness in deterring invaders and neighbourhood undesirables.

However, instead of concrete, our fence panels will be constructed of treated lumber and wrought iron. Plus, armed security personnel, drone surveillance, and video monitoring will remain optional considerations.

The bulk of the fence panel will be formed with 1×6 fence boards, along with a combination of 2×4 and 2×6 framing lumber, while a wrought-iron, 12-inch high, picketed-lattice type of crown will provide the panel its décor, ultimate intimidation, and definitely its “wow” factor.

Wood on its own is nice, but essentially lacks something. Steel or wrought iron on its own is beautiful, but maybe a little too correctional or institutional. By combining the two, you get a fence that states we’re not necessarily keeping anybody in, or anybody out, but we enjoy our privacy.

Besides simply being attractive, a fence panel must have two other qualities.

One, that it be serviceable.

And two, that it be removable.

Fence brackets, the U-shaped hardware that connects the 2×4 or 2×6 horizontal framing to the fence posts, might not be the carpenter’s way of creating a butt joint, but it’s got to be the fence-builder’s way. That’s because stuff happens in the life of a fence that may require you having to remove or replace a panel.

If a backyard pool is in your future, backhoes are rarely successful in squeezing themselves through 36-inch wide gate openings. Or, the building of a utility or storage shed would certainly be facilitated by the delivery people being able to access your backyard.

And, with the teen next door most recently having acquired their driving licence, the odds of your neighbours’ Ford Windstar making its way through your fence and into your backyard at 3 a.m. on an early Sunday morning has now increased tenfold.

So, for these reasons, we make fence panels removable. Fence panels need to be serviceable in order for them to have any type of longevity. Non serviceable fence panels are those where the 1×6 fencing planks have been fastened to the 2×4 cross members using nails, in a board over board, or good-neighbour type of pattern. Nails make removing a fencing plank without destroying the board almost impossible, while a board on board, offsetting type of plank placement is extremely awkward to paint or stain.

As a result, the crooked or cracked planks that need replacement are rarely removed, and the fencing lumber never gets protected with either a clear sealer or coat of stain.

In order to make a fence panel serviceable, the installer will need to make the 1×6 fencing planks easily removable, which means simply using the appropriate length decking screws.

The fencing planks will also need to be easily stainable, which is best achieved by installing the 1×6 planks vertically, placing one plank up tightly against the next, as you move laterally across the horizontal framing members.

The horizontal framing members should be comprised of two 2×6 treated studs (with one placed at the top of the panel, and one at the bottom) along with a 2×4 horizontal stud going across the middle of the panel, in order to prevent warping. The top of the fence panel should then be capped with a 2×4 stud, which will prevent water from entering the soft end grain, or Achilles heel of any fence plank.

Instead of crowning the fence panel with a traditional wood lattice, the enlightened fence designer would choose from a series of wrought-iron lattice designs.

Fence gate? Go with either a wood/iron frame combo, which would offer privacy, or a wrought iron gate, with its iron bars and curved, pointed spindling, adding a medieval touch.

Post caps? Choose the matching iron caps, they’ll look great, and best protect the post’s end grain.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard

Posting a good start

Shane Harris and Travis Bright work on installing new resin and galvanized fence posts into position on Wonderland Road north of Fanshawe Park.in London, Ont. on Thursday July 9, 2015. Mike Hensen/The London Free Press/Postmedia Network MIKE HENSEN/THE LONDON FREE PRESS/POSTMEDIA NETWORK

With our permit secured, the property line clearly established, and the gas/electrical/cable lines effectively flagged across the lawn, we can begin digging our post holes.

How does a person dig a post hole? Preferably with the help of an auger, driven by mechanized heavy equipment.

What about digging a post hole manually, perhaps engaging your son or nephew in a male bonding type of experience? Not a good idea.

This might have been possible about 100 years ago, when real men waged war during the day, then played hockey at night. Unfortunately, time and the computer age have modified the average male physique to the point where the shoulder and lower back development required to perform the task of repeatedly digging a four-foot hole has been genetically eliminated.

Strangely enough, manual post-hole diggers are still available, but with the design not having changed since the days where men could actually perform this task, your backyard soil would have to have the consistency of butter in order to make this task even somewhat conceivable.

As with all fence projects, the key to success will be the posts’ placement.

The best-case scenario will have your posts buried 48 to 54 inches into the soil, and spaced at every eight feet on centre. Use a mason’s cord to ensure a straight fence line. Pull the mason’s cord tightly along the future fence line, then drop the cord to grass level. Using a tape measure, or preferably a 150-foot open-reel fiberglass tape, mark an “X” on your lawn with a florescent spray paint to designate the post holes, and where the backhoe will drop his auger.

Don’t stake the lawn with pickets, keeping the mason’s line a foot or so above the lawn, using strips of ribbon to designate post placement. You’ll never trip over an X, and it’ll never move.

In order to allow for the three-to-four inches of spacing underneath your fence panels, and at least a few inches of fence post extending above the fence panel, along with the possibility of some variance in soil height, a five-foot fence will require you using 10-foot fence posts, while a six-foor fence will require 12-foot fence posts. Your posts can be made of 4×4 or 6×6 treated lumber.

The 6x6s look better, stay straighter, and are significantly stronger, so they’re definitely the preferred choice.

Securing the fence posts? With the post hole drilled into the soil, insert a sono-tube (cardboard cylinder) into the hole. A 4×4 post will require an eight-inch diameter sono-tube, while a 6×6 post will require a 10-inch cylinder. The sono-tubes are key to containing the concrete and gravel matter that will surround and secure the posts, and help prevent ground moisture from infiltrating this same area around the posts.

Be sure to toss a shovel-full of gravel into the sono-tube before inserting the post. This will help keep the bottom of the post somewhat dry.

If a fence post (regardless of it being a 4×4 or 6×6) is going to have a gate secured to it, with this gate presumably seeing regular swinging use, you’ll be wanting to first toss three-to-four bags of pre-mixed, just add water, concrete into the hole before filling the balance of the space with gravel.

All the other posts will not require cement, and can be secured using a 1/2 to 5/8 gravel mix, or stone dust.

Installing fence posts is minimally a two-person, brawn/brain joint co-ordinated effort. The brawn gently shovels and packs the gravel into the space surrounding the post, while the brain surveys the post leveler, making any necessary adjustments to post lean in an attempt to keep the post perfectly straight and in line with the mason’s cord.

Fence gates? Wooden gate panels can be made to size, but the more decorative wrought-iron type gates will require specific spacing between posts.

So, choose a gate pattern or style before starting the post-hole drilling process.

Next week, creating a great fence panel.

Good building.

As published by the Standard-Freeholder
Handyman's Hints Standard-Freeholder Cornwall Ontario by Chris Emard